22. we touch skin

•February 11, 2009 • 1 Comment

We could speak a thousand languages with the same intentions. We touch skin. We touch chapped winter lips and hold dry brittle hands speaking in code, and you answer in latin, and the questions keep coming. The clouds cover the source as we hibernate in arms to weak to hold their own, and we hibernate in homes built from cardboard boxes and fence posts. I climb inside your chests and whisper secrets to your liver or your kidneys. I climb inside your chest.

I climb. inside.


21. mall blues

•February 9, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I always get to work too early. I need a car, this train shit aint cutting it. I sit here sipping coffee with cat power in my ear fantasizing about zombies invading the mall. The newton shoppers with their over sized bloomingdale bags terrified of their own demise, with the truth that they didn’t live out their life. “you have too much money” the zombies would grumble as they feast on the shoppers brains.

I smoke more than I should. I put together a book case last night but have no books to put in it. All my books, movies, and cds are at tylers parents in oregon boxed up. rawr.

sorry for spelling errors, I am writing this from my phone.

20. lost sighs and interventions

•February 9, 2009 • Leave a Comment

She drove down familiar roads with misspelled names that led to no where new. The directions crumpled at her feet could unfold into origami birds that flew from the smokey window into the ground that was still stiff from the winter. Obsessions collided with lost purpose and sighs, she promised his fingertips that her body would return, the mind would be gone. She begged for some sort of divine intervention, a mercy call for the sick dying girl who threw herself at death in the face of loneliness. She recognized her face in the child, the mannerisms had been written by the same hand, the omens all pointed to those same misspelled roads and their truth would be to meet at the intersection of here and there. He was hers and the child still searched for the sickest prince to put her in the ground still stiff from winter.

19. lists

•January 31, 2009 • 1 Comment
Trader Joes shopping list.
luna bars
frozen edamame
green/red peppers
blue sky soda
almond milk
vitamin d
pav bahi

I would really really like to start eating healthy. For no other reason than I am becoming very aware of how my body reacts in subtle ways from whatever i feed it. I smoke like it is going out of style & I am not ready to put that down, however I think chaning other things will be a head in the right direction.

18. hands created from ice

•January 30, 2009 • 2 Comments

I was born of snow and slush. An icy mess. My bones are full of Antarctica and I leave kisses of frost on your broken exteriors. I am stuck in a sort of limbo at the moment. I have no idea what I am doing back in Boston. I forgot how depressing the winters are, I long for warm summer days spent sitting on my stoop in Jamaica Plain hearing languages spoke around me not of my own tong. He is here…but I am not. I am working this job that is paying me nothing so that I have some sort of cash in my pocket. I moved in with my dad so I can put my portfolio together to apply to mass art and hopefully go there. I just couldn’t afford living on my own anymore and going to school at the same time. I couldn’t afford my sanity, my food, my love. Now I feel I made a mistake, I am already looking at apartments and I have only been here since the 12th. Every thing I am feeling goes against everything I stand for. The fight to stay alive through my art when money rules all. The fight to stay live with some sort of my sanity left when living at my dads causes more pain and numbness than I wish to admit.

Scoop me up. Lets play in snow. Lets forget this world and create our own.

17. the end of an era

•January 27, 2009 • Leave a Comment

my fingers are cold, dry, numb. You stand or sit and scream so silent that the migrating geese hear you in Australia. Large and in charge we wither away at the sight of such things when will power means nothing.

I want to walk around with you…

The new animal collective is almost as good as sung tongs.

16. the end of santa fe

•January 7, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Last I wrote we had just arrived in Flagstaff Arizona to stay in a dingy, yet cozy Motel6. We hit the road around noon after filling up on coffee, gasoline, and of coarse treats for Turbo. It has been so hard to keep Turbo in the back seat, and he wiggles out of the seat belt when we try to strap him in…so treats is the only answer. After a 6 hour drive we arrived to santa fe. To be honest I was not to impressed with the landscape of Arizona, big red rocks just don’t get me off. And New Mexico…I never want to see anymore turquoise or adobe again in my life! No but really it is kind of magnificent that people still reside in these strange clay like structures. It was also refreshing to see tons of Native Americans. Growing up on the east coast I never met someone who was full indian…or even half. Staying with Emily has been a blast as well. She took us out to breakfast this morning (oh ps everyone in new mexico puts green Chile on EVERYTHING they eat) and we have played “scene it” the past two nights. Her friends are super rad and always seem down for anything, I kind of just want to live here with her!

So at 2:30am we will awake to drive to Austin, TX. We are staying with a friend of a friend…so honestly I feel awkward about the whole thing. The drive will be interesting though, texas is like caifornia to me; This big fucking state that I know nothing about and have only seen on TV.

I love Tyler so much, and we travel so well together. I think it might be because we pretty much got together on a long as drive back to portland from boise, ID. Which is a year ago this month. Having him come with me is such a crazy beautiful step in my life…I have no idea what is around the corner, which brings a strange warmth to my chest that can at times be uncomfortable. WHO KNEW this would be possible in my life, to love someone so much and know they love me back. Not to mention that I made it 20 years old, and will be 4 years sober on the 18th of this month. I am like and adult or something…INSANITY!!! (but the good kind)

anyway, I have to wake up in 4 hours. so off to bed, and then off to texas!


check my flickr or facebook for more photos. I ran out of room on my flickr though so most will be on my facebook. Please buy me a paid flickr account!!! ❤